人与人之间的感情受到伤害时,总会心烦意乱。当别人向你抱怨他受到“羞辱”或被别人侮辱时,你该怎样回应他呢?
心理学家杰克·坎菲尔德有一个很好的建议,即对抱怨者说:“如果我对你说,‘乔,你长绿头发了。’你会感到难过吗?”
他的回答可能会是:“不。”
如果你再问他:“为什么呢?”
他的回答可能是这样:“因为我知道自己不会长绿头发。”
这样你就可以说:“所以,我的话并没有影响到你,最重要的是你对自己的看法。”
“任何时候,如果别人所说的关于你或你所做的事,让你感到不安,那是因为在某种程度上,你对自己的这个方面也有些怀疑。”
(熊文摘自《最富哲理的美文》)
Hurt feelings between people can be very upsetting. How should you respond when someone comes to you complaining about being“put down”or insulted by someone else?
Psychologist Jack Canfield has a good suggestion. Says to the complainer, “Suppose I were to say, ‘Joe, you have green hair.’ Would that make you feel bad? ”
He’ll probably reply, “No.”
Ask, “Why not?”
His likely reply is“Because I know I don’t have green hair.”
You say, “So what I say to you needn’t affect how you feel. What you believe about yourself is more important.”
“Anytime you feel upset about what someone says about you , or something you do, it's because at some level you doubt yourself in that area.”
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